


If only I

by Defdefso



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ghost matsun, Human makki, flatmates, ghost au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:44:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Defdefso/pseuds/Defdefso
Summary: A matsuhana one shot based on a prompt I found on pinterestWrite 500 words starting " If I knew then what I know now, I would have never..."Though 500 somehow ended up as 3328 words.This is the first work I finish. Hope you like it!!





	If only I

If I knew then what I know now, I would have nevr confessed I can see him.

I first saw him when I first switched houses and started living close to my university, he was laying on the couch in the living room when I first arrived, and as the landlord had already told me I will have a housemate, it was only reasonable to assume it was him. It wasn't.

Curly short dark locks, an emotionless face that screams "FUCK-off",and me not being the chit chatter myself decided not to speak until he feels comfortable enough to initiate a conversation.

We co-lived for a while. I saw him around some of my classes, so I once again assumed that he shared the same major. I was wrong again.

Life was going on normally, but we still never talked to each other, not even once. Sometimes I catch him staring at me intensely as if he was staring at my soul or analyzing my personality through my facial expressions, and even if I stare back he never diverts his gaze away as if it was the most normal thing to do.

I have my fair share of weird traits so I never questioned it.

Two weeks passed the same way,that is until I got that message from my landlord.

LL: << Hanamaki, I am sorry for the late notice. I was so busy, it slipped my mind. I was ment to inform you that your housemate decided this apartment wasn't the best for him after all so he won't come. You don't have to worry about paying the whole apartment rent though, you can keep paying half until I find another one"

I kept rereading the text message over and over again. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!! " I was in university so I jogged my way back home, but he wasn't there.

Who the fuck is he if he wasn't my roommate and why the hell is he in my apartment.

He never did anything harmful or showed any bad intentions, heck he never even talked. My mind kept playing different scenarios to find out h Who he was until i unintionally fell asleep and didn't realize it until I woke up.

"ugh I must have fallen asleep" i said groggy while rubbing my temple. My eyes were still accomodating to the light, when I found the fake housemate's face mere centimeters away from my own.

I screamed.

LOUDLY.

A very un-manly scream that I am not proud of. I attempted to hit his head to get him away

" AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!!!!!!!!" WTF! WTF! WTF! MY HAND WENT THROUGH HIS HEAD AS IF HE WAS A HOLOGRAM. I jumped behind the couch and help my phone at him as if I was pointing a gun, I know not the best weapon but you gotta do with what you have.

He didn't move from his spot though, and for the first time since I met him he had an expression other than the fuck-off-or-ill-kill-you on his face. His half lidded eyes were fully open now and his usually zipped mouth was forming an O shape, he looked like a deer caught in headlight.

"Y-y-you can see... Me? " the black haired hologram guy stuttered in a low voice as if I'd fling my phone at him if he talked any louder. Is he joking or is he just plain dumb?

"OF FUCKING COURSE I CAN SEE YOU!! I HAVE BEEN SINCE I FIRST MOVED IN" I yelled, I am still traumatized because of the whole hologram thing don't judge me.

His eyes grew wider as if that was even possible. "why didn't say anything? " he said approaching me carefully; his hands ahead of him as if he was trying to coax a wild animal into submission.

This time I actually flung my phone at him, and once again it went right through his head. As if I only realized it now I started screaming again while running the opposite direction.

Im doing too much screaming fuck it." STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! ".

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH'!!!!"

"Hey, hey, hey! It's serious, just lemme explain. I won't hurt you"said mr wavy hair. I stopped and glared at him but stayed in my spot 5 meters away from him.

Just in case.

I don't know what the fuck he is. "since when did you start seeing me? " he said without trying to approach this time.

"since I moved in. I told you earlier. I thought you were my housemate until the landlord sent me a message Telling me the later will never come" I said frantically as if i was obliged to answer.

"why did you not say it before. Fuck. It's too late now." he looked scared.

I think he is a ghost but I don't think ghosts are able to feel, yet he looks very burdened at the moment.

Suddenly I wasn't so scared of him.

Just confused.

Wanting to help.

What did he mean by it was too late?

. I started to quietly approach him "hey hey, calm down, too late for what?" I said in a low voice.

I know this is a bad decision but I can't help it he looks genuinely distressed.

"you are not supposed to see me! No one is supposed too! I don't know what's the meaning behind a human seeing me but I know it gonna wind up awfully. I know I know he said it when he granted my wish"

This is all too much for my brain to take at one go. Maybe if I pinch myself I will wake up.

I tried.

Ouch it didn't work.

Shit.

"who is "he" and what wish? Who are you?" I said confused. If I was going yo try to help him, I'll need informations.

"I am issei,. MATSUKAWA Issei. I am a lost soul. I made a deal with the devil after I died. The girl I loved was lonely and didn't have anyone. We were about to get married when I goy stabbed in a back alley and bled to death. I couldn't leave her alone. She had no one. The devil came and gave me two choices either he grants me a wish and he gets my soul to toy with as muc as he wants or not interfere and I can never see her until I die. So I took the first. Even though she couldn't see me i was able to follow her around help her without her realizing that. Seeing her smiling and happy. "

he was smiling and then his gaze turned somber and he smirked

"I should have known to never strike a deal with the devil. She died one week later same death and I couldn't help. And I wasn't able to see her again. I begged him and all but he said a choice is a choice and I chose the wish. He said I can do whatever O want but the moment someone is able to see me I should prepare for the worst. No one has seen me for 20 years. People come and go. But no one ever saw me. "

Wow. Damn. Sounds like a fairy tale but after the hologram shit I am ready to believe anything.

I think I should, even though he is not human. Even though we never talked before. It was still easier to live here and accomodate because he was around. For once I was not lonely.

"I'll help" I said trying to pat his shoulder to provide comfort but it went down through. Shit Ill never get used to this hologram shit.

"yeah, by the way, how the fuck can you sit on a couch but I can't pat ur shoulder without my hand reaching where your stomach should be? " I said genuinely confused.

He started laughing hysterically,"you really are a loud person when you find someone to intertain you" he said between fits of laughter

" it's because I can control who can and cannot touch me by solidifying my soul shape. " he added more seriously now."how are you planning to help me when even I don't know what that thing is? " he added.

"I don't know yet but I think we should search a way to break the deal from scratch. That way you will get him off your back once and for all"

what kind of idiot strikes a deal with the devil. I think this is the only way to fix it. He rose one eyebrow

" Oh and you are planning to do that how? "

sassy motherfucker.

"you really are stupid. I am an art major and we takr history as a side so we take history as side so I have access to the town library, which is mind you the biggest in the country so we are bound to find something, a clue or an evidence for our quest sooner or later" I said with my head in the air as if I was the most confident person on earth; when in reality I wasn't even sure if it will work.

"Wow, you really do know what you are going to do! Well then what are we waiting for? "He said heading hurriedly to the door.

"It's 10 P.M. The library is closed. Let's try tomorrow, I don't have morning classes"

"Oh! Okey then I'll wait" he looked a bit dejected but he complied nonetheless.

I feel drained of power. Today was exhausting but even after 2 hours of laying I can still Feel like I am being watched. He is just like an excited pup waiting to go out on a tour in the garden *sigh*.

"Issei I know you haven't interacted with anyone for 20 years, that you can not wait to get the devil thing out of your way, that you don't need sleep but I do. I won't be of any worth tomorrow if I am sleep deprived. So if you'd please go back to your room and stop standing in the corner of my room in the darkness like a creep it'd be highly appreciated" I ranted exhausted, but he didn't answer.

Didn't move.

Just kept staring.

Heck all I can see is his eyes.

Lol. Is he a robot reachrging or something.

For some reason I feel like it's a bad idea to get up and tell him or kick him out of the room. You know like that feeling that your body is paralyzed in the middle of the night but you know that's not the case in reality. So I obeyed my body and tried to ignore it and sleep.

So I did, hardly tough.

I woke up the next morning. No one was in my room. I guess he left after I slept.

As decided we headed to the library that morning. Something unexpected happened though. Since ISsei was invisible to others, only I needed an Access Card, so we didn't have any problem accessing; but while trying to exit the machine started beeping alarmingly.

I tried to pass through several times to check if it was just a mistake but it kept beeping whenever I went through.

Okey What the fuck! I didn't even burrow a book and last time I checked I didn't have a book tag stuck on my ass.

I tried to explain to the librarian but she wasn't having any of it and insisted on checking my backbag herself. To my horror, she found a book named " magic in before the age of lights"

I felt the color drain from my face.

Shit.

I am not allowed to read that book without permission from the teachers let alone burrow it or in this case steal.

I fucked up.

Not really but Im screwed. How the hell did it end up in my bag!.

I gave ISsei a questioning look incase he put it in but he looked just as shocked as I was and he shook his head negatively. Needless to mention, no excuse worked and I got my Access card suspended and now I can't fucking ACCESS THE FUCKING LIBRARY ANYMORE!

" sorry Issei I don't know what happened. It's so fucking weird and illogical. Ugghhhh!" I apologized. I was frustrated, even though it wasn't my fault, even though I don't see a reason why I should apologize, I still did; because I was feeling bad for Issei, just when he had a gleam of hope that he can actually get rid of all this bullshit, this happend.

Just when we started getting clues, I got suspended. It was unfair. I have to think of another solution.

Hours blended to days, and Days blended to weeks that were spent extensively searching for new information, wether it was on the internet, historical books burrowed from my history teacher, or questiones directly asked to her.

She gave me weird looks because of it every now and then but I acted ablivious to it.

Every night I ment to tell Issei in the morning to stop the creepy staring, but every morning I forgot to, and its affecting my sleep. I never thought I'd make a friend out of a ghost. Heck, I never believed in ghosts or all that spiritual stuff before this, but damn it I now consider him closer than any human friend.

Like a best friend.

We grew alot closer these past weeks, I hope we can solve this problem quickly.

"TAKAHIRO!! TAKAHIRO!!" I heard Issei's footsteps coming towards my room. It's 1.A.M

"I found it!! I found it!!" his voice is nearing the bedroom and so is the sound of his footsteps. I was laying in my bed on my left side about to sleep.

I felt a chill running up my spine. I didn't dare turn around.

If Issei was the one outside of the room, then who the hell is standing in the corner of my room staring at me in the darkness for god knows how many weeks.

Time was going very slowly.

Scared was an understatement for the feeling I was feeling at the moment, I was terrified. I barely gathered my courage and reached for the light switch, turned it on but all I saw was yellow eyes and the creepiest Smirk before the body disappeared.

I screamed, the power went out, and finally Issei entered the room, but I couldn't see him.

I reached for my phone to providesome light but it was out of battery. I am pretty sure I left it charging. Yeah it was plugged when I went to bed.

We went out of the apartement but all the neighbors were had their power connected. We sat on a bench in the park nearby.

Issei explained that he found a method to break the deal but they need to find someone experienced to cast it. A human at that. I suggested doing it but he dismissed it.

I also told him about the staring shadow in my room for the past few weeks and how I thought it was him, in addition to what happened tonight.

"It all makes sence now. He was trying to stop us from finding a solution. He must have been the one who put the book in your backbag to forbid you from returning. We were probably close the solution that day. He was watching you everynight knowing that you'd think it was me, which will creep you out, or at least stop you from sleeping which will make you less functional throughout the day because the sleep deprivation. Lastly,he switched the power off when I found a solution in the internet thinking ill lost the data and have to research it all over again, but luckily for me I sort of saw this coming with how sneaky he is so I memorized the whole thing first." he explained thoroughly.

I was awe-struck and terrified all at the same time. That was too much going above my head.

"This is more reason why I should cast the spell myself instead of someone else. We can't convince someone to do this. They won't even be able to see you. That is if they didn't take us for lunatics. Who knows what he will do if we wait any longer!" I said determined leaving no room for argument. That's probably why he only noded back instead of arguing.

For the following 3 days the devil never made an appearance, we'd go back and forth from the apartment to the park; apartment during the day so I can sleep and leave when The sun sets towards the park where Issei teaches me how to do the spell.

It was time. It was midnight, I brought the necessary stuff, drew the circle, it was akin to a summoning circle just not quite it. I have memorized the spell by heart. It was in an ancient language that I don't recognize. I had my fill of sleep. But most importantly I was ready.

I sat on the edge of the circle with Issei on my right, his hand in mine. I had my eyes closed and my left hand reachung out to my left side.

Apparently the deal was made by a mediator, a witch to be exact, so it can't be broken without a mediator from the same specie, a human in this case. So I will be their mediator.

As much as I am trying to act all cool and composed, my core is shaking. The devil is gonna hold my hand. If it was not for my best friend I would have bolted the day he told me about the devil trying to ruin our attempts im breaking the deal.

As soon as I got the signal from Issei I started reading the spell quietly and the moment I uttered the last word I felt a hand squeezing my left one and I suddenly felt as if I was transfered to refrigerator. I was extremely cold. I tried to open my eyes but everything went black.

I feel nothing. I think I lost consciousness.

or so I thought.

Issei's POV:

As soon as Hanamaki fimished the spell, he fell to the ground.

Did the spell take a toll on his body?

I looked at the devil and he smirked real wide and gradually started to laugh like a psychotic maniac cause he is one. He never talks, he just kind of telepaths his ideas to the other person through eyec ontact.

"poor Issei, lost another one"

"what do you mean lost another one" I screamed even though I knew he can read my mind.

Even though there was no reason to voice my thoughts I screamed.

He smiled again creepily. "you are cursed Issei. I never said the bad thing is gonna happen to you. I had my eyes on Hanamaki since the beggining. Whose better than a lonely young man with no family and not friends. No one will grieve his death. No one will even notice. That's why I gave him the ability to see you. So I can see you too suffering and mourning the loss of another dear one"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN! WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN! "I screamed again,

I can't comprehend this. How did I let this happen? Someone died because of me.

"The spell was supposed to work" I added in hoarse voice. I glanced at hanamaki's body. He isn't breathing anymore.

"It did" he said. Then why?

" see Issei this is the diffence between a master and a begginer. If you had followed the instructions exactly you'd know better than to let him do it. It specifically said to bring a specialized person, maybe a witch, or at least someone who masters ancient languages. Thay was a sacrificing spell, Hanamaki sacrificed his soul in exchange of the freedom of yours. "

And just like that he disappeared into thin air and I never saw him again.

Left me feeling like a killed my only friend.

Mourning his loss.

Losing a mind I never knew I still had.

But it's life. Life is hard. And thats what I kept telling myself.

And for moment While gazing at him I thought.....If he knew what would've happened he'd probably say" if i knew then what I know now, I would have never confessed I can see you"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I love Makki and Matsun. Don't kill me.   
I hope you like it.   
Kudos are welcomed. And comments are well appreciated.


End file.
